Business Descriptions

  • Estado: Closed
  • Prêmio: $65
  • Inscrições Recebidas: 9
  • Vencedor: GavinParish

Resumo do Concurso

I need 3 descriptions of my business written for general use in marketing and web sites like our own, Facebook and Google Pus. These should be customer centric and designed with the customers point of view in mind. I would like a longer one and a couple shorter versions of about a paragraph and about 2-3 paragraphs. These will be used on web pages and in marketing materials we produce in house or, if this works well, on Freelancer. This is my first posting so If more information is needed please feel free to ask. I have included a document with our current description and some information about us but, frankly, I am a technician, NOT a writer and after over 20 years in business I am done doing it myself :-)

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Feedback do Empregador

“We were thrilled with Gavins winning entry in our writing contest. It was top notch!”

Imagem do Perfil mbrixius, United States.

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Painel de Esclarecimento Público

  • mbrixius
    Titular do Concurso
    • 3 anos atrás

    Thank you all for your entries. I have removed older entries and we will be picking a winner tomorrow after our morning meetings

    • 3 anos atrás
  • ryanjsims
    ryanjsims
    • 3 anos atrás

    1 like to LCarabajal.

    • 3 anos atrás
  • ryanjsims
    ryanjsims
    • 3 anos atrás

    We all have bad days. Hope your day gets better.

    • 3 anos atrás
  • mbrixius
    Titular do Concurso
    • 3 anos atrás

    God what a disaster of a day, I am extending this for 3 days so that you all get the feedback you deserve.

    • 3 anos atrás
  • mbrixius
    Titular do Concurso
    • 3 anos atrás

    An emergency has come up at the office, I WILL finish these feedbacks today. Because I was slow in getting the feedback in (Which I now realize is more important that the initial description) I will do a 3 day extension if anyone who has already made a submission wants me to.

    • 3 anos atrás
  • mbrixius
    Titular do Concurso
    • 3 anos atrás

    I am sorry for the slow feedback. I wanted some feedback from others but they have been too busy. I will drop specific feedback on each piece in the next couple hours but some general feedback that applies to many of them is that they are what I call we we we descriptions that would be ok if they were targeting employees but are not good for customers. People care about how they are helped, not what we have, do or give. For instance if I write "We will have one of our technicians call our customer within an hour of receiving their support request" the information is in terms of US, not them and that makes for poor marketing. It is FAR better to say something like "You will be contacted by your service technician within an hour of placing a support request" which is all about them.

    Thanks so much for all the great submissions, I will get to specific feedback right away and promise faster feedback in the future.

    • 3 anos atrás
  • mynk16
    mynk16
    • 3 anos atrás

    Hi mbrixius,

    I understand your requirements very well and will submit an entry very soon.

    - Mayank

    • 3 anos atrás
    1. mynk16
      mynk16
      • 3 anos atrás

      #10 it is. Waiting for your valuable feedback.& ratings.

      • 3 anos atrás
  • anasnasheed
    anasnasheed
    • 3 anos atrás

    Hi,
    I just submitted my description of your company. Hope you like it.

    • 3 anos atrás
  • chriskingsley
    chriskingsley
    • 3 anos atrás

    Hi, you must post it as a project as contests are rarely used for writing projects. :-)

    • 3 anos atrás
    1. TheGuyver2040
      TheGuyver2040
      • 3 anos atrás

      Just so everyone is aware, it seems that users like "Chris Kingsley," are lobbying for writing contests to be canceled in favor of writing projects. In doing so, they hope to leverage an advantage over other users, as they have an established reputation on this site (i.e., some users have been here for 10+ years). Their reputation may not necessarily speak towards their level of skill, however, as many elect to outsource their work to native English speakers. So, there's in fact a method behind the madness. Contest entries from some groups of users are noticeably scarce, as payment is earned through skill rather than name. What results are spam entries - submitted in the hopes of irritating contest holders enough to goad them into project posting.

      • 3 anos atrás
    2. mynk16
      mynk16
      • 3 anos atrás

      @mbrixius
      There is no harm posting this as a contest. It is much better cause you will get entries with different writing styles and based on your requirements you can award the best entry.

      • 3 anos atrás
  • mbrixius
    Titular do Concurso
    • 3 anos atrás

    I will rate applicants soon, we are having freezing rain and the power keeps going out (For hours at a time). The power line in front of the house is under extreme strain so I just logged in fast to check but don't want to keep the PC on.

    • 3 anos atrás
    1. LCarabajal
      LCarabajal
      • 3 anos atrás

      No stress, contest doesn't end for six days. Stay safe!

      • 3 anos atrás
  • ryanjsims
    ryanjsims
    • 3 anos atrás

    Please rate applicants.
    Thank You

    • 3 anos atrás
  • ryanjsims
    ryanjsims
    • 3 anos atrás

    i Love the writing contests, especially Copy. I wish there was more. Good luck everyone.

    • 3 anos atrás
  • nicholaszube
    nicholaszube
    • 3 anos atrás

    Submission entered! Don't hesitate to let me know if you need anything else to further your business, and I hope you like what you see. Best of luck with your contest!

    • 3 anos atrás

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