THOSE ARE MY TUTOR'S COMMENT:
I gave this a read and started correcting it. Although you seem to have understood the idea of breaking down your paper into sections that have a point and a main argument - inside the sections you are just stating "stuff." I say "stuff" because you are not connecting your information with a sentence that argues and analyzes your points.
Another major flaw is that you are not quoting things properly. All direct quotes need open quotation marks and closed quotation marks. Also, whether you paraphrase (summarize someone else's point) or quote someone directly you need to have a citation. You need to follow the citation system that your Professors tell you to follow. Even in a draft. They must be there. Also, you have to footnote terms and concepts that are not known to the reader, like legal concepts or cultural - religious terms.
Also, your paper is about SA - so why are you quoting the Israeli basic law? It's not relevant. If you want to make a comparison - that's fine. But first describe the SA law. Then in a couple of sentences compare it to Israeli law - either to say it's good or very bad. What is important is that the information is relevant and you analyze it. Then you talk about how SA law does not address women. But what's the relevance? Why is this relevant. Explain it. It's a very interesting and timely point - but give us a connection and an analysis.
You explain the religious structure of the Ulema and what makes up Shariah. But you need to explain why this is relevant to the Basic Law and to your paper and the evolution of how SA will amend it's Basic Law and adopt the TRIPS. Make it relevant to your paper.
In the section on the Basic law - your translations don't make sense. You need for them to stand up in legal English or at least in English.
have corrected to page 11 - but you need to redo the last 2-3 pages I corrected. You are completely off topic in that section. You are describing in detail the business visas and how foreign nationals can work in Saudi Arabic. But this is not your topic. Your heading says how the old system did not work and was backlogged. This is what you need to be talking about. You can have a paragraph explaining how foreign companies and nationals can accede the Saudi market and how they can work there. But you still have to explain how that is relevant. But business immigration and wok visas in SA is NOT YOUR TOPIC
I am not correcting further because you need to see if you are on topic for the rest of it as well. You need to backtrack and correct this.
Also, please put in your citations and quotations and sources in this draft.
HI PLEASE I NEED IT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! AND I WILL LET YOU KNOW ABOUT ANY COMING COMMENTS. UNTIL NOW THIS IS MY THE ONLY COMMENTS I GOT FROM FROM THE TUTOR.
COULD YOU PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHEN EVER YOU FINISH EACH PAGE AND KEEP ME UPDATED.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FOLLOW ALL THE INSTRUCTIONS ONE BY ONE! I NEED TO GET AN A IN THIS PAPER AND I DO TRUST THIS WEBSITE.
I DID A WORK IN OTHER WEBSITE AND THEY HAVE BEEN DISAPPOINTED ME! PLEASE DON'T TURN ME DOWN!
you need to fix the link of the paper where you talk about the Ulema and Women's rights to your topic. It is unclear what the connection is to IP law in SA. Please see comments.
You have some expressions and wording that are still incorrect translations from the Arabic text to the equivalent English legal terminology.
Your section on why there is a need for more modern IP laws in SA because of the changing nature of intellectual capital has to go in section 2 of your paper. So, you need to reorganize that section.
Your spacing and formatting is all over the place. Keep style of paragraphs - headings - line spacing consistent. It sometimes made it unclear to me - what your thought process was and how you fit the information into your outline.
You still need to be more thorough and consistent in citations and terminology"