Hello,
My name is Rui Pimentel and I've more than 6 years of experience in development of web applications. I understand what you need, and my suggestion would include using a different player from the one provided by youtube, and that way I'll be able to create the button you need easily.
I can do this in a couple of hours, and don't give much importance to my bad feedbacks, sometimes thinks don't work good with some people, which doesn't mean they wont go good with you.
I hope you can give me a chance and I assure you wont regret.
Best Regards,
Rui Pimentel